Get up! I feel like a cup of noodles!

From the "I Can't Make This Shit Up" Dept.: When I was a kid, I had a very silly dream about savage young Elvis (Presley, that is) doing a commercial in 1956 to the tune of "Blue Suede Shoes." But you won't believe this very real Japanese commercial I found on my pal Dan Epstein's Facebook wall, featuring James Brown, um, reimagining one of his classics to sell...well, you'll see....

Now if you'll excuse me, I now have to find the pieces of my shattered mind....

I doubt I have had enough caffeine to process this...

...but you know me: I see something this odd, it's gotta be blogged. Presenting a clip from a notoriously edgy late '80s late night music show, Night Music. It's killer enough that it features Conway Twitty almost returning to his rock 'n' roll roots, singing a blues called "When You're Cool." But, he gets a chorus line, too? And it's noted San Francisco-by-way-of-Louisiana art terrorist pranksters The Residents?!!

No, I can't make this shit up....

Going From One Cartoon To Another....

You coulda seen this pic coming, couldn't ya?

I tried forever not to comment on the Anthony Weiner debacle.  Oh, believe me: I could've told dick jokes for days, just on the guy's name alone. But the whole matter was such a non-issue, I didn't wanna contribute to that circus.

But the American media and American people just couldn't stop touching that stove. "Oh, NO! An elected official has had his sexuality arrested at age 14! He thinks showing pics of his underwear-sheathed pork sword to women via the internet - when he's supposedly happily married - is perfectly acceptable! Oh, my! That's our business, right? Because it is a sign he's not fit to serve, RIGHT? And GET A LOAD OF HIS NAME!"

Honestly, that y'all kept going there, and that it's now led to his resigning, says more about what's wrong with our society than about Anthony Weiner or his ability to be a good representative for his people. And he was: Served 12 years in the US Congress for New York's 9th District. And he served on NYC's city council for six years before that. And from all reports, he did great things for his constituents, and was looked upon as a rising star in the Democratic Party.

But, like Bill Clinton, he couldn't keep it in his pants. Something that Europeans shrug off. But America, a nation founded by puritans, still acts like a nation of puritans. They're titillated as hell at the slightest whiff of sex, but sex must be punished when it begins whiffing.

And while it may have been the right's version of Perez Hilton, Andrew Breitbart, who most loudly beat the drums against Weiner, it was Weiner's own party who hounded him out of office.

Let's face it: Politicians are dogs. Worse so than rock musicians or Hollywood actors. And frequently, it's the most loud-mouthed family values advocates on the right who end up exposed as the biggest kid-fucking, closeted-gay perverts alive. So why was any of this shocking?

Were Weiner's actions in poor taste? Sure. Immature? You bet. Untowards for a supposedly happily married man, soon to be a father? Yep. Should he have owned up and moved on, rather than try to ineptly cover up once he got *ahem* exposed? Stands to reason.

Now, did our entire civilization and government crumble because Weiner liked to flash his weiner at women on the internet?

Well, did it?

I feel sorry for our country. I feel sorry for the media for being unable to not pick at this scab. I feel sorry for the Democratic Party for being a bunch of hypocrites. And I feel sorry for Tony Weiner, for losing a promising career to poor judgement. And for having that name.

Now maybe I can get back to blogging about more important stuff. Like why is it Gibson gives that waste of sperm Sammy Hagar another signature guitar, when I'm still struggling to get gear together to start a new band....

I Wanna Be Animated: Ramones Cartoons!

"So, we meet up back at The Mystery Machine after the gig?"

Ramones Pics

 I always wondered why the Forest Hills Four - Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, and Tommy (or Marky) (or Richie) (or Marky again) (and what about CJ?) - never got their own Saturday morning cartoon show. If ever a band deserved to have their wacky hijynx animated, it was The Ramones! I mean, they kinda hinted at that once themselves:

But did Filmation ever come by with a contract? Did Hanna Barbara ever realize The Ramones should have guested on that same Scooby Doo series that had guest appearances from Don Knotts or Batman and Robin? NOOOOO! Hell, even THE BEATLES got a cartoon show in their heyday!

Well, some enterprising soul decided enough was enough. Apparently, a few years back, someone did their own animated clips set to Ramones classics and uploaded them to YouTube. The results are crude, but no less crude than either those '70s Hanna Barbara or Filmation "limited animation" series I mentioned earlier. And these are probably a million times funnier and soaked in The Ramones' spirit, right down to the pop cultural and cartoon references, even references to other Ramones lyrics.

Let's dig in:

 

And this last one, for "Chainsaw," might be my favorite, as it's the most ambitious production, right down to the intro and fake movie trailer at the end:

I don't know if The Ramones' corporate interests approve of these clips. But I don't think they're an embarrassment, and I wish whoever this animator is would do more! Gabba gabba, we accept, we accept you! One of us!