The Remains Of The Toxic Narcotic, Pt. 3: School Jerks

As noted earlier today, I've decided to go ahead and post the inventory I'd compiled for what was to be my online punkzine, The Toxic Narcotic. The cover and the opening editorial were posted earlier. Now I give you a review of the band whose record inspired me to start the mag to begin with, and who also inspired me to seek out The New Punk Rock Generation and revive "RADIO NAPALM." Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Toronto's School Jerks:

It turns out the sound of pissed-off modern youth is the sound of pissed-off 1981 youth!

Tim Discovers school jerks....

And what of the heroes of The Toxic Narcotic's debut issue? School Jerks are the very reason I'm doing this 'zine and relaunching “RADIO NAPALM.” They are energy and excitement incarnate. I know next-to-nothing about these guys, aside from their being a Toronto export and that they couldn't be older than we-just-hit-drinking-age. But a more potent burst of raw power hasn't been felt in these parts in many a year. It hit hard enough to make me quest to find a swingin' new punk rock generation. I found 'em. School Jerks are the tip of a hulking goddamned iceberg of punk rock goodness.

13 songs in 13 minutes, 12 inches revolving at 45 RPM. I don't have physical vinyl - I managed to score a digital copy. I have literally no information, even their names! I know they released three 7-inch EPs prior to this. Judging by the one I heard, Decline, those were stepping stones to this explosion.

Just sloppy enough to be fun, just produced enough for the guitar tones to be sharp and all instruments to be distinct, School Jerks is an ASSAULT. I couldn't begin to tell you whatever the hell the singer is singing, so unintelligible is his bratty bark. But he's ENRAGED about something! Nothing's overly distorted here - if anything, it borders on modern garage punk, except delivered at the speed of “Pay To Cum.” If nothing else, this may be what a Billy Childish record would sound like if he'd been raised on a steady diet of The Germs!

(GI) certainly sounds like a touchstone for these guys; you could easily file School Jerks alongside that, Damaged, Back From Samoa, Group Sex, and Hollywest Crisis. Yet this ain't Sha Na Na with a mohawk and combat boots! It turns out the sound of pissed-off modern youth is the sound of pissed-off 1981 youth! Brutal shit, and an instant classic! I really want to see these guys live, now....

(Get it from http://www.gravemistakerecords.com/catalog/ or http://gravemistakerecords.bandcamp.com/album/school-jerks-2)