Wednesday, February 26, 2014

"RADIO NAPALM" Podcast # 28: 2/25/14 (For Joyce Coffey)

Poor Joyce Coffey of Epping, NH. She was recently arrested four times in 26 hours! Why? She played AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" quote-unquote "too loud!" Ed The Engineer, I, and even dumb-as-shit-in-a-box Scooter know that AC/DC can NEVER be too loud! Even if New Hampshire cops can't figure out that "Rock 'n' Roll Ain't Noise Pollution!" So, this week's episode of "RADIO NAPALM" is dedicated to Ms. Coffey. No, we don't play any AC/DC this week. But we sure do play loads of ALL-NEW punk and garage goodies from DOA, THE STRYPES, THE JIM JONES REVUE, THE OBN IIIs, BITERS, SUPERSUCKERS, CHEETAH CHROME, and more. The Garage is BRIMMING with loudness, this week!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

"RADIO NAPALM" Podcast # 27: Feb. 16, 2014

Enough specials, already! It's time for AN ACTUAL BRAND NEW EPISODE of the most swingin' sound around, "RADIO NAPALM!" It's ALL-NEW this week, INCLUDING THE MUSIC! Every song played on today's show was recorded the last two years, to guarantee maximum freshness. So, WHO SAYS THERE'S NO GOOD NEW MUSIC?! Not Tim Napalm, Ed The Engineer, nor Scooter! So, dig the new noise from THE ENEMY, THE WHITE WIRES, REV NORB AND THE ONIONS, THE HANGMEN, FLESH LIGHTS, THE ALARM, UK SUBS, and so many more! Plus all the comedy, echo, screaming, old commercials, and Ed The Engineer and Scooter you can eat! And more exclamation points!!! AND CAPITAL LETTERS!!! CAN YOUR HEART STAND IT?!!!

Friday, February 14, 2014

The "I Can't Make This Shit Up" Desk Just BLEW UP!

I have just encountered the G.G. Allin of sidewalk evangelism, whilst waiting for the Number One bus by the UT mall.

Some frumpy woman walked into the middle of the mall area, bearing a sign reading, " You DESERVE Hell." She shouted at the UT student population all manner of terms of endearment. Like
"whores," "whore mongers," "baby murderers," etc.

I tried to tune out the strident cow by playing "Anarchy In The UK" as loud as my phone could bear, when G.G. reincarnated before my eyes as a Christian performance artist.

A skinny young man appeared next to the lady, peeled off his shirt, and revealed a torso full of hideous home-made tattoos. Then he pulled a full-on Lucha Libre wrestling mask over his head and produced a whip. And began beating himself.

Yep, full-on self-flagellation, great ribbons of blood pouring from his wounds. When he felt his back was punished enough, he started turning his chest into hamburger with his whip.

Then G.G. began brandishing the Dr. Seuss book, The Lorax, at us. Who knows what sinful intent the good Dr. had in these nutcases' eyes.

When G.G. tired of The Lorax, he began dusting himself in talcum powder.

I've no idea how many shows per day these lunatics perform, but hopefully, they'll be here for the next week. Don't forget to tip these kids - they have a helluva act.